Don’t Waste Time Arguing With Men

Don’t Waste Time Arguing With Men

Many women find themselves embroiled in online debates, hoping to sway men towards feminist perspectives. The belief that men can be reasoned with, that logic will prevail, and that somehow they’ll abandon their deeply ingrained misogyny is not only futile but also a significant drain on women’s energy. Women often invest time, patience, and emotional energy into these discussions, thinking that maybe, just maybe, men will come to understand the harm of patriarchy. However, the truth is starkly different.

The problem with trying to persuade men is that it is overwhelmingly ineffective. Sure, there may be a very small minority who are open-minded enough to question their own biases, but these men are few and far between. For most men, the real aim of engagement is not to genuinely consider new ideas but to feel superior, to assert dominance, and to uphold their worldview where they are naturally at the top. Men, particularly those who argue against feminist views, are often operating from a place of entitlement. They aren’t listening to understand; they are listening to win, to reinforce their existing beliefs, and, in many cases, to diminish women.

Debating men about women’s rights is a waste of time because it rarely results in a meaningful shift in their perspective. Their participation in these debates is often performative, designed to invalidate feminist concerns rather than engage with them. And why? Because misogyny is not merely a misunderstanding that can be corrected with a few well-placed arguments. It is a deeply entrenched system of belief, reinforced by centuries of patriarchal conditioning. It is not something that can be dismantled by one or two logical conversations.

The best course of action for women is to disengage from these fruitless debates altogether. Instead of investing your valuable time in trying to win men’s approval or convince them of feminist truths, focus on yourself and other women. Build communities of support, strength, and solidarity. Educate other women about the realities of living in a patriarchal world, and create spaces where women’s voices are heard, believed, and empowered. This work will go much further in creating lasting change than any debate with a man ever could.

Debating men online is never going to bring about the end of domestic violence, rape, sexual assault, or systemic misogyny. These issues are rooted in much deeper cultural, social, and political structures that men are often unwilling or unable to confront. The real change happens when women educate each other on the dangers of male violence, male entitlement, and male power. The only way forward is for women to protect and uplift one another, not by seeking to change the minds of men, but by recognizing the inherent dangers they pose and making informed decisions to protect themselves.

True progress lies in separating from men, both online and in real life. Ignoring their provocations, disengaging from pointless debates, and redirecting that energy into building up women will create far more impact. Women don’t need to waste their time trying to convince men of anything. Instead, we need to channel our strength into creating a world where women support, trust, and believe in each other. That’s where true change begins. ♀